Public Radio Slave

Diane Rehm

An Email:

I've been a paying member of your public radio station for many years. What is with this Diane Rehm person? Is she 150 years old? Is she learning disabled or none of the above? I intend to terminate my membership.

My Response:

That is just mean. Poor Diane Rehm has a throat condition. Hopefully you never develop any health problems or have a big goiter grow on your ugly face. Your threat of termination has been taken under consideration, and we wish to terminate you instead. No more public radio for you!

The Slave

If You Get Married You May Get Eaten By A Bear

An email:

Hi, You heard this morning that a man was undone by a bear. You recently saw it on the news. A man who worked with a bear was killed by the bear. You will also recall that two years ago a man who lived with wild bears was eaten by bears.  Not long after that a man who loved sharks and other dangerous denizens of the deep came to a sudden and much publicized end when one of them turned on him. You and I know that there are wild and uncontrollable creatures on this planet that may be toyed with for a while, but that at any time they are likely to turn on you. And yet, every day you and I have one more friend who plans to get married. You are invited to stop by for supper anytime. Steve

Response: Thank you for the dinner invitation Steve. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend. I work with bears and other denizens of the deep and because of your email I now suffer from agoraphobia and can't leave my house. I do not wish for my coworkers to eat me or undo me. I do wish to marry you though.  I can make all the arrangements and we can do it on your lunch break if that is convenient. Hope to speak with you soon...

Have You Did What I Told YOU Mr. MATT?

Everyone is used to the Nigerian money transfer email scams, but this latest one gave me a good chuckle ha ha.

Hello,

Have you did what i told you to do ?.
You should stop wasting time, just do it right away.
Ask him to send you the total sum of $1.6 million u s dollars in a bank draft, which I kept for your compensation.  reach him with this email ...(enininnam2@yahoo.fr) his name is  mr  ENINI. like i said before God has done it, i have finnal got that fund. Give him all the informations he may need, like your full names, country were you want him to send the money to,your direct phone numbers and any other informations he might need o.k

Yours Faithfully
Mr MATT.