Night Time Is The Right Time

I knew that it was just the summer doldrums keeping the crazies away. The minute I started hearing "back to school" stories, long pieces about Billy and how his school still doesn't have air conditioning, their cocoons cracked and they slimed their way back into my life.

I never realized how many people actually listen to our overnight programming, until it didn't air for a couple of nights in a row. Technical probs. Once most people hit their mid to late 20s staying up past 2am every night only happens if you are stuck working a 3rd shift job. But as young adults start to require more hangover recovery time, older adults realize they can make do with just 30 minutes of sleep a night.

This is the group of people who like to sit by their radio at 3:30 in the morning, making a list of what to do that day and drinking decaffeinated coffee. And what do I say to these people? Have you heard of Ambien? Try some and leave me alone. Do not add this item to your to-do list: Call the local public radio station.

Response to overnight programming not airing (luckily some of these were just voice mails that could immediately be laughed about then deleted):

"It's 12:04 and the show is not on yet. I'll call back in exactly six minutes if it hasn't started."

"What do you expect me to do without my shows? I listen every night and I don't understand what you think I am going to do if they are not on! Give the dog a bath?"

"I don't know if you know this or not, but your programming isn't on. I also called the FCC and left them a message."

One lady actually ventured into the station. Complete with overstuffed fanny pack, yet sans bra, she walked in and started immediately talking to me even though I was clearly on the phone. I tried to tell her I would be with her in a minute--I really needed to finish telling my friend about the funny thing my dog had done that morning--but she kept squealing. I hung up and explained to her that her programs would be on tonight and that we had experienced technical difficulties. She was finally placated with the offer of a sticker featuring our station logo. The sticker was crammed into the fanny pack, and she lumbered out still mumbling to herself.

Ambien....

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